The Going Back-to-School Jolt: What’s Really Going On
Does your child come home from school grumpy, exhausted, or on edge?
You're not alone, and you're not doing anything wrong.
That “back-to-school” shift isn't just about sharpened pencils and new lunchboxes. It's a massive mental and emotional gear change. For many kids, especially those who are sensitive, anxious, or neurodivergent, it’s like trying to drive full speed while changing the engine mid-route.
The tough behaviours you might see? They’re often not “naughtiness”, they’re your child’s nervous system showing signs of overwhelm.
Let’s break down what’s going on under the surface, and how small, realistic changes at home can make a huge difference.
Why the Change Feels So Big
1. They’ve Lost Predictability
During the holidays, most kids settle into a relaxed rhythm, with less structure, fewer transitions, and more control over their day. Suddenly, school throws them into a world of timetables, unfamiliar spaces, and new people.
What’s happening: The brain’s alarm system (the amygdala) can go into overdrive when things feel unpredictable or unsafe.
What helps: Build a visual schedule together. Even a simple sketch of the day ahead can offer a sense of safety and calm.
2. Their Brain Is Working Overtime
Getting dressed, packing a bag, remembering what’s needed for each subject—this takes executive function. That’s the brain’s “manager,” handling planning, memory, and switching between tasks.
For some children (especially autistic or ADHD kids), these skills take extra effort. Adding a new classroom or teacher it can quickly lead to mental fatigue and emotional burnout.
What helps: Create an “external brain” system:
A launchpad by the door for school essentials
A morning checklist to reduce decision-making
A quiet, predictable after-school routine
3. Everything Feels Loud and Fast
School is a sensory storm: loud chatter, buzzing lights, scratchy uniforms, overwhelming smells. These constant inputs can overwhelm a sensitive nervous system.
What helps: Offer a gentle landing when they get home:
No questions right away
A quiet walk, a blanket fort, or their favourite show
Noise-reducing headphones or a sensory bottle if they find these calming
These aren’t "extras", they’re tools to help their body reset.
Support, Without the Power Struggle
Your child isn’t being difficult. They’re having a difficult time.
Your job isn’t to fix everything just to meet them where they are. And to know that some days, staying calm is enough.
4 Ways to Make the Transition Smoother
1. Make Plans Together
Instead of setting the routine for them, build it with them. Talk about what part of the day feels tricky and come up with one small solution together.
2. Give Them Choices
Let them pick their bag buddy, their after-school snack, or which shoes to wear. These tiny decisions give back a sense of control.
3. Lower the Pressure at Home
Drop any non-essential extras for the first couple of weeks. Think: slower evenings, quiet weekends, and no added expectations. Their nervous system needs time to catch up.
4. Ask Better Questions
Try:
“How did your body feel at school today?”
“Was there a moment you wished you could press pause?”
These invite real answers and let you peek into their world without pushing.
You’re Learning Too and That’s OK
This isn’t about getting it perfect. Some days will be smooth. Others might be rough. That doesn’t mean you're failing. It means you're human—and so is your child.
If you want some backup, I’m here. HappyChamps is a relaxed space for parents who want less stress and more connection. We offer small, doable ideas that work in real homes—with real kids (and real mess).
Book a free 15-minute call, and let’s figure out what might help things feel calmer at your house.
We are running a series of masterclasses over the coming weeks to allow you insight into how we can help you and your family.
Take a look at our website www.thehrologist.co.uk
#BackToSchool #ParentSupport #NeurodivergentFriendly #SchoolTransitions #EmotionalSupport #FamilyWellbeing #HappyChampsCircle
